Welcome to the regular Wednesday column from an old favourite; The Original Grumpy Old Man (OGOM). This week OGOM begs for the invention of commentary free live football.
There are not footballers playing in the English league that can cause me more annoyance simply by reference to their name than Robbie Savage. Wrexham’s finest scholar of geography (you remember, Wrexham is nearer Blackburn than Birmingham apparently) has a specialism in being the ultimate gobby pillock. Yet somehow this intellectual featherweight is being fast tracked as a pundit for the BBC and others. Whilst waiting to cross over from talentless thug footballer to tasteless comment specialist Mr Savage has been practising by engaging in a running battle with the sports journalist at BBC Radio Derby (note the irony in that), the contents of which are quickly becoming social media classics. At times it feels like the lunatics have taken over the asylum.
I could spend all of this missive rattling on about Savage but he is just the most recent manifestation of the brainless irritating summariser. The list of those practising the mindless arts is endless; Marwood, Birtles, Hansen, Townsend, Wright, Burley, Beglin, Shearer, Lineker and Redknapp jnr, being the leading contenders for being shot. You will notice I have only included ex players who have no meaningful track record of ever managing (Shearer’s disaster at the Toons hardly constitutes a managerial stint of any worth or note), this isn’t just a co-incidence, it’s a reflection of the reality that unless you’re prepared to take on a club at a significant coaching level then nothing you have to say is worth jack.
There is also a new phenomena, something that appeared a few years ago, of commentators sticking to what they thought had happened despite the monitor in front of them clearly showing something else. Now this wouldn’t be so bad if they then moved on but oh no, repeating the same rubbish again and again seems to written into their contracts. If Peter Champion mentioned once that he thought Ricardo Fuller should have got a red for a tackle that hardly looked like a yellow he mentioned it 100 times. Luckily Joe Royle, who has managed, is having none of it and keeps putting what was once a decent radio commentator in his place. Oh for the option of muting the chat but still hearing the crowd!
Obviously there are other ways than just sitting on a gantry to tell the world about a game, there is the Sky Sports Studio version which again seems to split between those who have managed and those that haven’t. A notable exception to the rule is Charlie Nicholas (as is Andy Gray) and Paul Merson doesn’t do much for the reputation of the ex manager. However to re-enforce the divide there is always Paul Walsh, who never sees a top 4 team player do anything wrong and Dean Windass who seems to be moulding himself into a thick version of Chris “unbelievable” Kamara. Oh and Jeff Stelling knows where he can stick his James Brown toy!
There are a couple of summarisers i like, Glen Hoddle always makes perfect sense to me when he discusses tactics and likewise I can listen to Roy Hodgson discuss a game all day. So what do the BBC think they are playing at with Savage? Well its not rocket science, in the same way they dilute their political analysis to the lowest common denominator they are clearly trying the same in football punditry. If the BBC think a thug with a tendency to pick fights in a empty room with all the brains of a demented slug is what the average football fan craves they have underestimated all our intelligence by the size of an ocean.
