Your reading a pre 2010-11 archived article
What is the point of reviewing the forthcoming PL season? The top 5 are decided, the only question is in what order, the bottom 8 are stick on certainties with all 3 promoted clubs assumed to be yo-yo clubs. The only question left is which of the rest is this seasons Fulham (and it could still be Fulham!). All in the entire product doesn’t change and the money keeps flowing away from the many and into the hands of the few. This reality stinks, it could be so much different, in a parallel universe a series of renewing and spirit rising outcomes would accrue, a small list of which I needlessly articulate below, however you can bet your bottom pound they won’t happen this season.
Anyone can win the League and Cups. 20 clubs start the season with equal ambition, Burnley remembers the side it had in the 60’s and 70’s and are aiming to replicate that, Stoke City want to surpass the 1972 League Cup win, David Moyles is looking enviously back at what Howard Kendal achieved at Goodison Park, in style as well as success, and wants some of that. Arsenal will play their first 11 in the League Cup third round. Meanwhile a group of senior pros in Lancashire and North London are worried that the parallels with their clubs early 70’s history suggest relegation is a major threat. With every footballer in the PL believing their skill/energy and commitment levels to be the same regardless of wage levels the games are competitive and close. It is going to be a wonderful season of surprises in this dimension.
The standard of refereeing and sportsmanship will be outstanding. Marvel as we go through a whole season without a referee altering the course of a game with an mind blowing aberration. Equal amounts of penalties will be given at Old Trafford and Anfield to the away sides as the home sides, Howard Webb and others will cut out the theatre and give decisions with understated grace. Players won’t surround the ref, managers won’t berate them at full-time and supporters will just shrug when they don’t like something. Games will be allocated randomly and any of the top 4 division standard officials could get Arsenal v Chelsea in the FA Cup third round. The FA will proudly announce their “common sense” awards whilst also pointing out no-one got booked for celebrating a goal, returning to the field of play or winning the ball. It could almost be like Cricket!
A new era of financial responsibility and shy chairman will be born. Chairman will decide to limit wages for players to 50% of the clubs turnover and that all monies put in by owners, be they foreign or British, count as liabilities. Clubs will volunteer to be part of an early warning system when debt starts to get out of hand, agents won’t be paid by clubs period. The PFA will put the needs of all its membership before a few superstars and John Terry will refuse a wage rise because the figures involve blow his mind enough already its putting him off his game! A moratorium on ticket price increases will be announced and clubs will compete to provide the most attractive value for money family match experience. A refreshing attitude that saves the game.
British footballers will predominate. Football League stadiums bulge with PL scouts and managers as a new craze of buying good British players takes off. Clubs start to put their academies in front of a foreign scouting empire. Sam Allardyce leads the way by declaring Blackburn Rovers are the new Athletic Bilbao and want to have a predominately North West born set of players with 3 seasons. 16/17/18 year olds are told that they are with the club until they are 22 and told they must study for a degree during that time. One minute someone is playing for Blyth Spartans, the next they are joining Sunderland and in the team within weeks. A hundred foreign players depart, with gratitude for the wages, to pastures new leaving behind only real quality and standards.
The powers that be will reunite the English game. After 18 years of selfishness an outbreak of common cause provokes the PL to revoke its “independence” and rejoin with the FL. The divisions revert to their old numbering system of 1, 2, 3, 4 and the Blue Square becomes division 5. Everyone agrees to the over-arching authority of the FA and in return the FA agrees to a new professionalism. The bid for the 2018 World Cup spreads the joy and largesse around the country geographically and the divisions. Everyone signs up to a concordat on respect for each other, Bury’s sit with Manchester United’s, AFC Wimbledon with MK Dons and the new motto for English football becomes “the true peoples game”. The age of excess is over.
Chairman, managers and everyone else will come together to ensure that England’s South Africa 2010 World Cup campaign has all the chances he can muster. Sir Alex Ferguson leads the way with a promise to release all players when required, the other 19 managers follow suit by offering to drive their stars to England training camps themselves. Chairmen accept injuries will happen and console themselves with the insurance pay-out. The press calms the hype down and simply asks that the squad do their best, established players accept they competition of others based on their form not whether they go to the same exclusive clubs, WAGS book holidays in 24 different places so no-one gives a toss about what they do. David Beckham retires from international football on the grounds of exhaustion before the final squad is announced. It is nice to watch this tournament with an equal amount of hope and realism.
Obviously in this parallel universe there has to be some yang to all this ying, so all the English clubs went out of the Champions League in the group stages, the television media companies got real and basically told the clubs the next rights deal would be back to early 90’s levels, Stuart Atwell will be exposed part of the Faking It TV series and Sky decide to sack all its pundits that have actually managed (so not that many then). All in all though a much more enjoyable experience than the turgid, over-hyped, predictable garbage this dimension will have to stomach in 2009-10.
August 09
